Monday, August 24, 2009

Random Thoughts...

Random Thoughts of the Day:

I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

That's enough, Nickelback.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f*ck was going on when I first saw it.

I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

The other night I hit a new low at an open bar. I had already hopped on highway blackout when, inevitably I had to find a bathroom. Eventually I decided it was probably on the other side of the bar so I tried to walk over there, but ran into a guy coming the other way. We played that, Both go left, Both go right game to no avail, so I finally put out my hand to guide myself past and that's is when I realized, yup, that's a mirror I just tried to walk through. And the guy on the other side is me. Even cats can recognize their own image.

How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

Was learning cursive really necessary?

Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.

Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when a n entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories

Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.

Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then...

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Tyler is growing by leaps and bounds! He's so stinkin cute when he smiles! He's also doing a lot of baby talk now, lots of cooing and gurgling. He's 12lbs 4oz and 22 1/2 inches now and he can hold his head up and look around really well! He can also bear weight on his legs and push up w/ his arms! The Dr's say he's very strong! He's still not sleeping through the night though...not even CLOSE! He sleeps from about 10-2 and then he's up every 2 hours after that. He makes a lot of noises frequently and seems to have a hard time getting comfortable. I feel so bad for him! I wish he could sleep easier! We've also decided to delay some vaccines, and totally eliminate others. Here is our tentative schedule, still have a bit more research to do.

6 months - DTAP
8 months - PCV & HIB
10 months - DTAP
12 months - PCV & HIB
14 months - DTAP
16 months - PCV & HIB
18 months - PCV & HIB 2 yrs- MMR (which I'm still not sure about. This one just scares me!)
3 yrs - DTAP
4yrs - DTAP
5yrs - MMR

Allyson just started vacation bible school and she seems to really enjoy it. Today was her 2nd day and she seems to be learning a lot. I was laughing when she told me how "this guy used a stick to make a path in the river so the bad guys wouldn't get him and his friends!" LOL! They are watching Veggies Tales and reading, playing outside, learning new songs "God is bigger than the boogie man", and they even made tie-dye shirts, painted a wooden snake and filled a pen w/ colored sand! I'm so proud of her!

Natalie is attempting to potty train. She went the whole night last night w/out peeing in her diaper (YAY!) but she REFUSES to go on the potty. She pretty much goes 1st thing in the morning in her diaper, then she puts on her big girl undies, then she stays dry til nap when I put a diaper on her. Then she goes when she wakes up (in her diaper) then big girls undies, then a diaper at bed time. There seems to be nothing in the world I can bribe her w/ to go on the potty! She's one stubborn little girl!

Here are some recent photos! Enjoy!
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Friday, July 17, 2009

Ally's Birthday Party and My Growing Boy!

Ally’s 5th birthday party went great! The jumperoo was a total LIFESAVER! The kids had a blast and Allyson said it was “the best birthday party ever!” so that made it all worth it! Here are some pictures
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And today we went to the Dr for Tyler yet again. His eye was all goopy and he’s had a cold so I was worried it was infected. Turns out it’s just a plugged tear duct! Fun fun! I’m just glad he’s OK! He’s 7 wks today, and he’s SO big! He’s already 11lbs 7oz! My little chunk!
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And yes my hair is messy and I’m not wearing any make-up! NICE! LOL!
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Monday, July 13, 2009

Here it goes! My 1st "blog"!

So much has happened in my life the last 5 years. It's too much to write about, so I'll just jump in over recent events.

I have always been very close to my dad. He's always been hot tempered, as am I, but lately it's gotten just AWFUL! He lost his job this spring and it seems as though his medication has stopped working. He was put on Prozac about 10 yrs ago and that started to lose it's effectiveness, so he was put on Lexapro. They've topped out the max dose on that, and over the last year we (my family) have noticed his outbursts and mood swings to be comming back and increasing in intensity. He's never been properly diagnosed, but I think he's bi-polar. Anyhow, a few weeks ago we spent the weekend at the lake w/ my sister and her family and my parents. As we were leaving, my niece kicked the dogs ball off the deck and into the lake and my dad just LOST IT! Started yelling (not directly at her, but at the 3 kids on the deck. My niece and my 2 daughters). I was standing near by. My oldest daughter is VERY sensitive and she immediately looked down and I could tell she was getting nervous and confused. She's never seen my dad like that and she ADORES him. So I told him he needed to calm down, it's just a ball! And he came walking towards me and got in my face and told me I needed to walk away...well I wasn't walking away from my kids! I wasn't about to leave them up on that deck w/ him all crazy so I said no, you need to walk away. He didn't like that much, and got nose to nose w/ me and told me I better go sit down "little girl" and so I went inside and told my mom to get control of him, and so she told him to calm down. I went and got my girls off the deck and we left. That's pretty much the jist of it. Fast forward 2 weeks later to my daughter's b-day party and he comes up to me there (we haven't talked since the incident) and asks me how I'm doing. Says "you know we were both wrong". (WTH?! Ummmm...NO! YOU were wrong dad!) So I say no, I wasn't wrong I was defending my kids and he says that I was wrong for yelling at him, he wouldn't have come at me like that if I didn't come at him first. All I did was tell him to calm down and that they're just kids, it's JUST A BALL!!! He started getting mad all over again!!! At my daughter's b-day party so I just said let's drop it and walked away. Then he goes to talk to my husband about it. Well all he did was put my dad in his place and tell him that I am the most important thing in his life, and that if he ever hurt me he would pay. My dad then says he's not sure if I didn't walk away that he wouldn'tve hit me!!! Then Justin said "well then my wife and kids are not allowed to be around you anymore unless I am there". So that's pretty much where we are at. My father in law and husband both had to tell him to calm down. I'm just so sad that it's come to this...and EXTREMELY frustrated w/ family right now!